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Writing Progress: Week Ending March 23, 2013

March 27, 2013

Spring may have sprung*, but when it comes to writing, there’s no spring in my step:

Book of M:

  • Background Notes Wordcount: 0 words
  • First Draft Wordcount: 0 words

Story of V:

  • Wordcount: 0 words

Grand Total: 0 words

There’s no need, I think, to rehash all the reasons why my writing hasn’t exactly blossomed.  Suffice to say that the pace of life with both V.R. and B.T. continues unabated.  At the moment, I have no reason to expect anything else.

As I said last week, it is now quite clear to me that I was being overly optimistic when I set my goals for the year.  I knew V.R. was coming, obviously, but I thought it was possible for me both to have a baby and to find time to write.  Maybe if I didn’t already have a demanding daytime career, that might’ve been true, but I do and it’s not.

I have no reason, at this point, to expect the next several weeks to be any different.  If I get any writing in, it won’t be much, and will almost certainly be substantially lower than my stated weekly goal of 1,750 words.

As the regular reader here could possibly tell from the tone of my recent posts, this all leaves me in a bit of an anxious and emotionally conflicted state. As I should hope is obvious, adding V.R. to our lives has been a happy and much-looked-forward-to occasion. And I regard the developments at the day-job that keep me so busy as being largely positive. But as a writer, which is a big part of my self-conception, all of this is a significant set-back. It’s difficult when you go through a sustained period of time where you must, of necessity, suppress an important part of yourself. For me, there’s a lot of internal angst and conflict over whether I can even honestly use the term “writer” to describe myself when I can’t even perform the most basic and self-definitional of tasks attributed to writers: namely, to write something, anything, regardless of quality. If I can’t even put words to paper, then what am I, really? A poseur?

The answer, I think, is that right now, and for the immediately foreseeable future, I’m not a writer. I’m a father who sometimes, on rare occasions when opportunity presents itself, indulges in a fantasy hobby of writing. I hate to call myself a hobbyist, because writing is so much more important to me than a mere hobby, but at the present time it feels the height of pretense to call myself a writer, much less an author, aspiring or otherwise.

I know that’s just the stress of the moment speaking to me. This, too, shall pass. But in the meantime, the fact remains: I’m not writing. And I don’t see that changing for a while.

Which leaves me wondering: why am I running through these paces, going on about how much writing I’m not doing, every week? I wonder if the time hasn’t come to say: “Hey, I’m not writing right now. I’ll let y’all know when that changes.” Then, I can focus what very limited blogging time I have to writing something more interesting than the same old “hey, no writing this week” post.

What do you, dear reader, think?

__________________________
*Spring offer not valid in all locations. Please check your local weather listings for more details.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. March 27, 2013 8:29 pm

    I think that you don’t need to make any excuses about why you have no time. You should do what you feel is best for yourself, and with a new baby, that really takes precedent! Your kids will get older, then you will have more time eventually. And you are a writer, just one on a sabbatical 😉 Don’t worry. Everything moves glacially in publishing!

  2. March 27, 2013 8:37 pm

    You’ve still got the heart of a writer, as evidenced by the suffering caused by being, for a time, unable to write. This season isn’t forever (and I’m not just talking about this winter-spring we’re having); so long as your passion outlasts it, you shall yet a writer be!

    Regarding weekly writing progress reports, if you feel it’s more of a torment than it’s worth, right now, then set it aside, pick it up when it’s fun for you again. Your writing time is more precious than ever; spend it the most fulfilling way you can figure how. (:

    • March 28, 2013 5:02 pm

      Yeah, I’m considering putting the weekly reports on pause for a while. The likely consequence is that my posting will drop to less than once a week, as the weekly posts were relatively quick to write, whereas other topics of interest to me are rather more time-consuming to write (being largely wordier topics).

  3. March 28, 2013 3:13 pm

    Please, do what is best for you, at the present time. And a very, very busy time it is. But one, which will fly by, even though it doesn’t seem possible, now.

    And please don’t waste a moment, on worrying/wondering about anything, connected with blogging.

    “Auntie”

  4. Alex Hurst permalink
    April 2, 2013 11:39 am

    I understand your frustration and your conflict. My partner and I both work 6 days a week and it is a miracle if I can get in 500 words a week sometimes. But that is normal, and expected, I think. Especially being a father, where your time at home is not really your own (because you are responsible and involved in your childrens’ lives) it can be so much harder.

    However, I would still call you a writer. You still have the voices and the will to create. 🙂 At whatever pace it takes you doesn’t matter.

    • April 3, 2013 4:00 pm

      Thanks. I do still think of myself as a writer at heart. I’m just at a point in life when it is prohibitively difficult to find the time to actually write. But I get a guilt complex because I see one author or another talk about how important it is to write every day, or to treat writing as a job (or second job) if you want to succeed (because it is a job) probably at least once a week. For me it would have to be a third job (after my real dayjob and being a dad), and my first two jobs are way too demanding to find time for a third. And got the record, I think I’d go nuts if I worked 6 days a week. Kudos for doing that and finding any time to write…

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  1. Non-Writing Update: Week Ending March 30, 2013 | The Undiscovered Author

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